I'm Afraid of the Dark

I'm afraid of the dark, yet I often stay up to watch the sun rise.
When I close my eyes, I see him.. his eyes.  Not always, but often enough.
He's been dead for many years, but still will not leave me.  Not as a ghost, but as a memory.
I'll not go into, never write down, what he did to me... and more often than not.
I've yet to forgive him, perhaps I never will. They say I should. I've tried.  Doesn't work.
 I try not to hate him so much.  I'm working on that.  Maybe someday.