I'm Afraid of the Dark

I'm afraid of the dark, yet I often stay up to watch the sun rise.
When I close my eyes, I see him.. his eyes.  Not always, but often enough.
He's been dead for many years, but still will not leave me.  Not as a ghost, but as a memory.
I'll not go into, never write down, what he did to me... and more often than not.
I've yet to forgive him, perhaps I never will. They say I should. I've tried.  Doesn't work.
 I try not to hate him so much.  I'm working on that.  Maybe someday.

My Son

I found my son. After nearly 20 years of searching and wondering. I had no one to ask.
He lives just 50 miles away.
I was a non-mother.  I left when he was just 5.  Broke my heart, never to mend.
I was a mess, running from my own childhood..  running from myself.  It doesn't work.
My mind is filled with unrest.  He made it clear, all those years ago, that he wasn't interested in trying to reunite.  He was a young adult at the time.  Even though I searched for him, I wanted to respect his wishes.  He moved around, so I never knew where he was.  I always wondered what I'd do if I ever found him.
 I have.
What I do now, I really don't know.


How do I

Reaching to Touch the Hand of God

I need
to see

Humble and Strong

I pray that
I'll be